How to make multigenerational living work for you

High property prices, rising consumer inflation and unemployment as well as the lack of affordable retirement accommodation have all contributed to a spike in multi-generational living in recent years.

And it can be a very smart move for a number of reasons: costs become far more efficient when shared and it’s also a very practical way for generations to help each other out, whether it be providing a home or sharing a rung on the property ladder.

But, although there are numerous advantages, it can also be very challenging and thorough planning as well as a number of adjustments and compromises are necessary in order for it to work.

Prepare your home

The first step is to take an objective look at your home and assess how well it will work for everyone and what adjustments need to be made.

Within the home, living space decisions are critical for the new arrangement to be a success and, as changes are far more difficult to make at a later stage once everyone has moved in, it’s best to get it right from the start. Take the following factors into account:

Mobility: If elderly family members will be moving in, they might have difficulty climbing stairs or getting into a bath or if they use a walker or wheelchair, even navigating the current furniture layout could be a problem if the rooms are small and there isn’t an open plan area.

If there is a choice of ground floor and first floor bedrooms, allocate the rooms on the lower level to the older generation even if they are still mobile to avoid any major upheavals at a later stage. Also, having bedrooms on both floors with the youngsters upstairs, will create a natural separation between generations and you won’t always be yelling at the kids to keep quiet.

If this is not an option, you might want to consider alterations like converting an attached garage into a self-contained flat as everything will be accessible and on one level.

Consider things like railings, handrails, and grab bars for difficult areas like the bathroom, bedroom or stairs.

Privacy: Although there needs to be room for a combination of social spaces for everyone to gather, it's equally important that everyone also has their own space, no matter how small.

Adaptability: If this is likely to be a long-term arrangement, it’s essential to consider future possible needs and create a home that can be adapted to your family’s changing needs. It will be far less disruptive than making major changes at a later stage when everyone is living under one roof.

Aspects to consider for older family members include clear circulation spaces and wheelchair access and also the possibility of needing additional bedrooms for children who might need their own rooms when older.

Practicality is key, especially in rooms like bathrooms which can be the most challenging of all for the elderly, so if you are doing renovations before they move in, consider a modern style wet room with a low-slip tiled floor as opposed to the traditional small, enclosed shower and separate bath.

Prepare your family

Communication: This is crucial for any functioning household, but in this instance it’s critical in order to ensure that everyone understands how this will impact their lives. 

So, before the big day arrives, gather everyone together and encourage them to talk about what they expect, including what they are excited about, and what’s making them nervous.

This way, it’s easier to be more realistic about expectations; after all, people won’t change overnight and you can’t expect the elderly to suddenly take to loud techno music or youngsters to want to watch healthcare programmes for the elderly.

And once everyone is living under one roof, if the communication channels are already open, it will be easier to maintain harmony and resolve issues. Hold regular family meetings to discuss issues before they become problems and try to stick to routines like set dinner times and bedtimes.

Other issues that could require special attention include conflicts between grandparents and their adult children over parenting as attitudes often differ between the generations and it should never be assumed that grandparents are available to take care of their grandchildren with little or no notice.

Divvy up chores and responsibilities: Whilst it’s true that shared chores can make for lighter work for everyone, it can also cause arguments if it’s not clear who is doing what or someone isn’t pulling their weight.

It can be difficult to keep track of who has done what, so create a list of all the different household responsibilities and chores and put it up where everyone can see it. That way there is no confusion about whose turn it is to wash the dishes.

Organise your finances: Don’t let money be the cause of festering resentment and ugly arguments. Make a list of all the regular expenses, such as mortgage, insurance, utilities, and domestic help and include when each expense is due.

Once you have a better understanding of all the financial responsibilities in the household, devise a plan for who pays what, and how to keep finances even as utilities fluctuate throughout the year.

Find ways to connect: Not only will it make living under one roof easier, it will also make it so much more enjoyable. Look for commonalities and shared interests, have conversations, ask about interests or hobbies, and look for ways that you and your family members can do things together.

Remember that the biggest advantage of a multigenerational household is that it provides a wonderful opportunity for the generations to connect, so take advantage of it by treasuring the time, having fun and making memories.